This Path We Pave
by ImpatientHeart
Summary: AU. When the switch doesn't occur and Thom takes on their dreams alone will Alanna be able to find her place and be the woman she wants to be?
1. Prologue

_THIS PATH WE PAVE_

**_"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." - Oscar Wilde _**

_PROLOGUE_

"You can't do this!"

The call was desperate, a girl struggling to hold onto a dream that was slipping fast through her fingers.

"No Alanna, _you_ can't do this."

Soft, placating, the last thing she needed to hear when she stood so close, within touch of what she wanted most in the world.

The man standing before her, on a wooden floor strewn with the long copper curls she had already cut from her head, looked on with sympathy as the violet eyes that wept for no one grew glassy.

She stumbled back away from the mirror, stumbled away from Alan and became Alanna once more.

"Why Coram?" she whispered as she sunk down to her bed, "Why can't I be happy?"

The soldier let out a sigh, crossing the room and seating himself beside her, "Sometimes we are forced to play the cards we have been dealt, no matter what they are."

"If that is the case then I have a handful of jokers," Alanna sniffed, "for I have been made a fool."

"You are no fool," Coram defended, indignant at the self-depreciating tone the young girls voice was laden with, "You and your brother are special Alanna, the roads set before you may not be the ones you wished to walk, but the world is not finished with you."

Alanna looked up, the tears now gone and only disappointment splashed over her features, "I will never be a Knight," she whispered.

Coram tussled the choppily cut hair, "No, but neither will you ever truly be a lady. The convent will not break you Alanna, you are far too strong for it to change you."

"Then I am doomed to a life of grey, I won't fit the black or the white."

"And that will make you unique Alanna! A fiery lady who can hold her own, quick with tongue and with far more wit than a simple court flutterer. Do you have any idea how far that will get you? You will be set apart, stand out against the black and the white as you call it and who knows where that will lead you."

Alanna managed a small smile at the words and with no warning engulfed the man in a hug. Coram chuckled lightly and closed his arms around the girl.

"Well the whole not conforming will start as soon as I arrive."

"How do you mean?"

Alanna drew back, one hand coming out to pull at a curl, "Have you seen my hair? The Sisters will have a heart attack"

Coram cackled, "You're gonna be just fine lass."

The ride the next morning was subdued, the small amount of spirit Alanna had gathered had been dampened somewhat by the oncoming separation from her twin. They had been inseparable since their birth, dreaming together about the feats of bravery they would accomplish. Coram had been teaching them to fight since they could walk so they could defeat the dragons that roamed the lands of Trebond. It felt wrong now to be leaving her twin on the cusp of the life they had talked of under the blankets at night, or up in the tree tops as they lazed about down by the river in spring.

She rode close to Thom, their horse's familiar enough with the motion that even when their flanks bumped together they remained as content as their masters. The younger twin seemed just as uncertain, his amethyst eyes darkened with thought.

Coram and Maud had ridden ahead, giving the twins the privacy they needed to come to terms with the void that was about to be opened between them.

"I'm sorry."

Alanna started at Thom's voice, "For what?"

"You know for what," he said quietly, "It won't be the same without you."

"Well wearing dresses won't be as fun either, you always made a prettier girl than me."

Thom choked, a laugh startled from him, "Gods Alanna, if you're not knocking on the palace doors in a month, I'll eat my boot!"

Alanna grinned, "The sisters have no idea what's heading for them."

"No, they certainly do not."

It took a while for the twins to realize that they had reached a fork in the road, one branch towards Corus and the other to the Convent.

"This is where we part then," Thom sighed, he hadn't expected to reach it so quickly.

Alanna dismounted, waiting for her brother to do the same before she threw herself at him, her arms wrapping around his back as she buried her face into the crook of his neck. He made no remark towards the dampening of his collar, just returned the embrace as fiercely as she was giving it.

"I'll miss you," he murmured.

Alanna nodded, stepping back slightly, "Stay safe Thom, please stay safe."

He mustered a grin from somewhere, though his own eyes were suspiciously bright, as he mounted again and turned his horse towards Coram who waited a bit further down the right fork.

Just as Alanna swung herself back into the saddle he turned around,

"I'll make you proud Alanna," he yelled, "that I promise!"

And with that, he was gone.

Alanna found the smile came easier to her face as she approached Maud.

_I know you will._


	2. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing. _**

**__**

**_"You are never too old too set another goal or dream a new dream..." - C.S Lewis_**

_CHAPTER ONE _

_6 Years Later_

"Will you just sit still?"

Alanna ceased her fidgeting reluctantly, glancing over at the owner of the voice. Cythera of Elden, with her ash blonde hair and gentle blue eyes, was the closest friend Alanna had made during her time at the convent. The only one, it seemed, among the stuffy ladies that was willing to be as rebellious as Alanna at times. Yet even she had her limits and sitting in a carriage with Alanna for five hours on their way to Corus to join the court for the first time seemed to be testing them.

"Honestly," she muttered good naturedly, fanning her delicately flushed face, "You're worse than Mouse."

Alanna snorted, Mouse was the affectionately dubbed Wolfhound that wandered the convent grounds. Large and loud and excitable he was as far from a mouse as was possible, but the name still stuck.

"I'm sorry, Thera," Alanna said with as much sincerity as she could muster.

Cythera raised an eyebrow until Alanna crumbled, "Ok I'm not. I'm not sorry, but you have no idea how much this means to me."

It was Cythera's turn to laugh, "Ally, we've shared a room for six years! I know how long you have waited for this, you haven't seen Thom since you left Trebond. I'd be worried if you weren't excited!"

Alanna smiled sheepishly, "I didn't realise I was so obvious."

"Oh sweetheart, I feel as though _I_ miss him you've told me so much about him. If you aren't careful, I might just marry him," she smiled playfully, "He sounds _lovely_."

Alanna blanched, remembering just why they had been released to the court.

"Please don't talk about that," she pleaded, "I have no idea how I'm going to survive this without dying of embarrassment."

"We will get through it together, I promise," Cythera clasped a hand to her knee, "And should, at any point, you fall, you know I'll throw myself right down beside you."

Alanna cackled at the mischievous glint in the other girl's eyes and resumed staring out the window.

It was a long while before they arrived in Corus. On some degree, Alanna and Cythera had been fortunate. They were seated in the last coach and so had been left with more space than the other twenty or so girls crammed in four or five to a carriage. However, it did mean that by the time they did arrive, they were the last to draw up outside the palace and as such were almost alone in the courtyard, only a whip of yellow silk, the hem of a gown flicking around a corner showing them where the others had gone.

"Well," Alanna grumbled, "Such lovely friends we have."

"Excuse me?"

The voice was a new one, rich and smooth, soothing even to Alanna's ears who had never placed much worth in something as silly as a voice.

Both of them turned to face the newcomer. He was tall and lean, handsome, Alanna supposed, with gentle features, brown hair slightly tousled, and warm green eyes.

He offered them a short bow, looking up with a quick smile, "I see the rest of your party has abandoned you."

Cythera returned the expression, dropping into a shallow curtsey, bumping her elbow to Alanna's stomach till she followed.

"It appears so, my lord."

"Forgive me," he said quickly, "My manners have deserted me, I am Gareth, Gary, of Naxen."

Cythera offered a small laugh, "Cythera of Elden."

Alanna had fixed her gaze towards the ground, she wanted to find Thom, not bandy words with a stranger, even if he was a friendly one. It took her a moment to feel the gaze on her and she raised her purple eyes to the young Gareth's face.

His sharp intake of breath was audible, yet more surprising was the wide grin that blossomed over his face.

Alanna nodded her head as she had been taught, "Alanna of Trebond."

"Ah, but I know who you are," Gary laughed, "You're our Thom's sister! Couldn't misplace those eyes."

Suddenly he seemed far more interesting to Alanna as most of her decorum went out the proverbial window.

She grinned, an expression that was all but banned from a ladies face, "You know Thom?"

Gareth, _Gary, _nodded, "He's one of my closest friends."

"Can you take me to him?" Her excitement had pushed everything she was supposed to be doing away from the forefront of her mind.

Gary had opened his mouth to reply when a sharp call reached their ears.

"Lady Alanna, Lady Cythera!" The First Sister stood upon the steps leading to the palace doors.

Gary chuckled, "Perhaps later, my lady."

Cythera and Alanna were ushered inside into the entrance hall. Alanna gasped, it was truly beautiful to behold, towering walls leading to a vaulted ceiling painted with all manner of images, from great battles to delicate scenes. If Thom had lived among this beauty for six years doing what he loved most in the world she knew she was right to have wished to be with him.

They were swept up a grand staircase and led among a warren of corridors some lined with arched windows looking out towards gently tended gardens or over the city, some with portraits or shining suits of armour. Finally they were stopped at the end of a long hall, both sides inset with many doors. The sisters showed them to the end to two doors side by side.

"Lady Alanna on the left, Lady Cythera on the right. Change into something suitable. The afternoon is yours to rest, you shall be presented to their majesties this evening. "She fixed them both with a hard look, "We are no longer at the convent and as such I expect you to be on your best behaviour. Impertinence is not so easily forgiven here."

Turning sharply, she strode down the corridor. Alanna stuck her tongue out at her retreating back.

"What does she mean easily forgiven?" Cythera asked, "We were hardly forgiven easily at the convent! Does she not remember us scrubbing the flagstones in the dining hall for hours?"

Alanna snickered, "We did tell Delia her dress was a monstrosity."

"Well it was," the other woman snorted, "Goddess, I've never seen anyone in so much pink. She looked like a pig."

Laughing at her friend's frankness, Alanna turned back to her door and with slight hesitance, pushed it open and stepped inside. A smile settled on her face. She could see herself comfortable here. The walls were a soft pastel green, offset by the polished oaken furniture and the large bed in the centre off the back wall. A panelled door opened out to a small stone balcony with a flower pot containing sweet lavender tucked into the corner. Seeing Cythera had already entered her own room, Alanna set about opening the baggage that had been placed neatly at the foot of her bed. In her impatience she flung most of the contents out onto the floor until she found the dress she was looking for. Plain and brown, with no trim or lace and a loose skirt to allow her to move freely, it was the most practical thing she owned to her displeasure as well as the least ladylike much _to_ her pleasure.

She tore the tightly laced cream gown from her and pulled the far simpler and looser one over her head. She took a deep breath and smiled.

The mirror set on the wall above the dressing table allowed her to see her reflection. Her long red curls were pinned up and she pulled the restricting items off, allowing them to tumble free down her shoulders before gathering them in a braid down her back.

Feeling far happier she opened the door back out into the hall, locking it behind her with the key that had been resting on top of her luggage. There was no answer from Cythera when she called her and a quick peek into her room showed her sprawled out on the bed in a simple shift, obviously not planning on going anywhere. Deciding to leave her friend in peace, Alanna set off alone hoping to either come across Thom or even Gareth.

Unfortunately she stumbled upon neither of them, nor onto any other young men who might have known their location. Feeling disappointment welling up inside her she decided to leave the castle in the hopes of maybe finding the stable. She'd always had a connection with horses and was wondering who she would have to ask to perhaps get a few hours riding in at some point.

As soon as she stepped outside onto a lightly pebbled path she became aware of a commotion coming from somewhere to her right. Following the footway around she came upon what indeed seemed to be the stable but also a large training ring. It was from here the commotion was issuing, shouts rising up from a number of young men, dressed in the livery of both pages and squires as well as men she assumed to be knights.

She drew closer, curiosity driving her movements. She knew it was probably improper for a young woman to be present at such a time, but an excitement stirred inside her to see a glimpse of a spar, for surely that was what it was from the sounds of metal on metal issuing from the centre of the group. She was still slightly hesitant until she spotted Gary standing beside a giant of a man with a head of black curls and then heard the words that issued from his mouth.

"Come on Thom!" He yelled, beating a hand against the wooden railing before him.

A spray of dust was sent up in the air soon after the comment and Gary laughed, the man next to him scowled good naturedly, and added his own call.

"Get it together Jon! He's your squire!"

Alanna heard only the wind in her ears for a while as she pulled the hem of her dress up and set off at a dead sprint for the group. Breathless she slid to a stop beside Gary who looked down startled.

"Lady Alanna," he said surprised.

"Hello Gary," she replied, with a smile that he returned.

"I see you've hunted down your brother yourself then," he laughed.

She didn't reply too caught up in the sight that now met her eyes.

_Thom. _He was taller than she remembered, though still short like herself, the slight chubbiness he'd had as a child had made way for hard lean muscle. Lithe and slender, he was circling his opponent, his eyes so like her own quick and bright fixed on the other man's face, moving with an agile grace she had never been aware he possessed. The sword in his grasp moved like water, merely a flash as he countered the others attack, nimbly dodging a fast slash to his torso. Alanna let out a puff of air, the two must have complete trust in each other and their abilities for there was nothing blunt about the weapons, testament to the small nicks she could see on both men's arms. She watched Thom laugh as he danced out of reach again before darting forwards his sword coming within a hairs breadth of the others face. Pride welled up inside Alanna for her twin, his last promise to her had been a true one.

"Good, isn't he?"

She took her eyes of her brother for a moment and fixed them on Gary's face, nodding.

"Is that his knight master?" She queried. The man Thom was fighting stood a good bit taller than her brother yet was also on the slender side, with a head of dark hair and brilliant blue eyes that were watching Thom's every move carefully. If she said he wasn't handsome, she would be lying through her teeth. "Aye," the man on Gary's other side agreed, with something akin to disappointment in his voice.

"Oh forgive me, "Gary groaned, "Alanna, this is Raoul of Golden Lake, Raoul this is Lady Alanna of Trebond."

Raoul started slightly, perhaps he had simply thought her a new page questioning Gary, "Thom's twin?" He said, his eyes flicking between her and his friend.

Alanna inclined her head.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you my lady," Raoul smiled.

"Just Alanna please," she said, pleased Gary had dropped her title once she had simply called him Gary.

Raoul nodded his expression broadening a little, "Alright then Alanna, yes that's his knight master. Prince Jonathan of Conte."

Alanna widened her eyes, as she turned back to the fight, _the prince? _Thom had mentioned briefly in his letter's that he was pleased with who he was squired too and that they were good friends, but never had he mentioned said good friend was the heir to the crown. She supposed she didn't blame him though, he was loathe after all to mention too much of his life at the palace, knowing how much she would rather be there with him.

"Don't mind his tone," Gary said quietly to her, "We all wanted Thom as a squire, he's the best in the palace. It's still a sore subject I suppose. "

Alanna nodded, until finally with a flurry of movement Thom seemed to spot an opening, his sword sped up, his stance quick to balance him as he lunged, the weapon coming up quick and catching the other's beneath the hilt. He flicked it sharply from his grasp, while his foot tangled itself between the Princes, sending the heir tumbling to the ground. With Jonathan's sword quivering in the sand a few metres away, the point of Thom's came up to rest against his throat.

"Dead."

They stared at each other a moment, both panting in exertion, till the Prince laughed from his position sprawled on his back in the sand.

Thom grinned and pulled his sword back, turning away for a moment to sheathe his weapon. Alanna however hadn't missed the glint in the young Conte's eyes, and she smirked to herself for as soon as Thom had his sword away and wouldn't harm himself with it, the princes legs swept out. Gary and Raoul and most of the spectator's burst out laughing as the dark haired man's kick caught Thom right behind the knees, effectively making his legs buckle and sending the squire down hard. Thom lay slightly winded, while the Prince pressed a knife, pulled from somewhere in the vicinity of his boot, to his throat.

Thom groaned smacking a fist at Jonathan's thigh which was the only place he could reach.

"You were dead!" he yelled, "I'm not yielding to a dead man!"

Jon laughed, "Post death spasm, squire!"

"That's a rather intricate spasm Jon!"

The Prince moved an arm across Thom's chest to hold him down as he tried to pull out of his grip.

"You know me Thom," he winked, "I'm always intricate."

Alanna found herself laughing along with the others at the Prince and his squire's easy banter. Suddenly Thom went completely limp, obviously in defeat and thumped the ground three times. Jonathan rocked back on his haunches, grinning, and allowed his squire to roll to his feet.

The young men and boys who had gathered to watch the fight cheered as the Prince too pulled himself up to collect his sword and Alanna even saw money being exchanged between some of the older pages and squires.

Thom stood for a minute stretching out an obvious kink in his side, before joining Jonathan at a large bucket sitting on the fence where both tipped what looked to be a ladleful of water over their heads. Dripping slightly, Thom wandered over to where Raoul and Gary were standing, shaking out his short red hair like a dog. Alanna found herself suddenly nervous as he drew closer, the Prince not far behind, and looked up through the wet strands that had clung to his forehead.

Purple met purple and he froze.

Both Gary and Raoul moved back a little.

Alanna smiled, raising a hand in a sad excuse of a wave as to her shame her eyes grew glassy.

Finally he moved, forgetting everything behind him, he set off at a dead run across the rather wide yard kicking up a spray of dust as he moved faster than she'd ever seen him. Some of the spectators called something out until they saw who he was running too, some choosing to laugh instead and others simply grinning. Alanna however only had eyes for her brother as she shuffled back a bit knowing his plan and indeed, he didn't stop at the railing, instead he vaulted clean over it and reached her in a few strides lifting her clean off her feet. She found herself laughing along with him and closed her arms tightly around his back until he set her back down.

"What are you doing here?" He cried in disbelief, seeming reluctant to let go of her, she herself hadn't relinquished her hold, she hadn't been able to embrace her twin in six years, see his face or hear his voice. He was half of her and they had been separated for too long.

"I'm being presented at court this evening," she said, discreetly wiping her eyes on the edge of his loose shirt. It was damp anyway. "I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well it's certainly that," he said, stepping back a little and casting his eyes over her and her choice of clothing, a disbelieving look crossing over his face.

"You've changed," he mused, "but then again you haven't."

Alanna smacked him, hard, and he grimaced, "Definitely haven't changed that much."

She laughed, pulling him back into an embrace, for all that it only fifteen minutes she was the older twin and was unbelievably glad to be reunited safely.

"Gods I've missed you Thom," she said softly, "When did you get so good with a sword, and Squire to the _Prince. _I get that you didn't want to let me know how amazing it was here but you could have mentioned that."

Thom grinned cheekily, "I've missed you too Lanna, and about all that, I don't know, I just never found a good time to bring any of it up."

"Well now's as good a time as any."

"Still so impatient?" He dodged a smack to the back of his head, "I'll explain everything later, as well as other matters we've written about. After the ball. You may be going as a guest, but alas, "his tone turned mournful, "I am still but a lowly squire doomed to wait hand and foot on whoever may require my services."

"Don't feel too much pity for him my lady, he spends most of his time hiding behind the curtains."

Jonathon had approached quietly and stood a few paces behind his squire with Raoul and Gary as well as a slender darker man of around the same age as the young knights.

Despite her complete hatred of the decorum the convent made her breathe as though it were air, she could feel that this man was worth every inch of respect she could afford. She stepped back from Thom and sunk into a curtsey Cythera would be proud of.

"Your Highness," she murmured.

He offered her a short bow before straightening up with a wide smile, "Lady Alanna."

Thom snorted somewhere to her left and then yelped when someone elbowed him in the ribs.

Alanna's face screwed up, "Just Alanna please, majesty."

"Well 'Just Alanna', my friends call me Jonathan."

After Alanna had been introduced to the darker man who turned out to be Alexander of Tirragen, they began to walk back up the path towards the palace, where it quickly became clear to Alanna that Thom had chosen his friends well. They were bright and cheerful each of them in their own ways, a colourful set of personalities that balanced their group out easily.

A bell tolled out across the grounds just as they reached the palace doors and Thom startled, eyes flicking up to confirm the hour.

"Gods, I'm supposed to be with Myles," he panicked looking down at himself quickly, "I completely forgot!"

"Well you did have a bit on your mind," Raoul laughed, "Long lost twin suddenly appearing and all that."

"Give me your sword," Jon said quickly, "If you run you'll make it."

"I'm still filthy Jon, he'll shove me out with a broom if I show up like this."

"Blame me then, it's technically my fault anyway."

Thom mulled it over for less than a second before turning to Alanna,

"Do you know your way back to your room?"

She shrugged, it shouldn't be too hard to find.

"We'll get her back to her room Thom," Alex groaned giving him a shove, "Just go!"

Thom grinned in thanks, quickly unbuckling his weapon and setting it into the prince's waiting hand before disappearing through the doors at a sprint.

Gary looked after him, bemusement flickering in his expressive eyes, "He'd forget his head if it wasn't attached to the rest of him."

"Is he always like this then?" Alanna asked, "I don't remember him being too forgetful."

Jon smiled sheepishly, "That _really_ is my fault. Agreeing to be my squire meant agreeing to a lot of work. Things just slip his mind that's all."

"Well," she grinned, "It's good to hear he actually does a day's work now and again, it was beyond difficult to make him do something when we were younger."

It was starting to get a bit late by the time they reached the corridor where the convent ladies were staying and Alanna bid the young knights farewell. Moving down to her room, Cythera threw her door open before she could even touch the handle.

"Where _were_ you?" She almost shrieked, grabbing Alanna and dragging her inside, "Gods, I was about to go and find you myself."

Alanna simply smiled, "I found Thom."

Cythera calmed down slightly, offering a slight curl of her mouth in return, "Well, at least you were doing something productive. But now, we really need to start getting you ready. We only have a few hours until the ball."

Alanna sighed, resigned to her fate of Cythera's fussing, and settled down in front of the dressing table.

The room at the top of the grand staircase was unusually quiet. Alanna stood beside Cythera among the twenty or so other girls from the convent. She felt completely uncomfortable, fidgeting in the tightly laced amethyst gown she wore.

"I look ridiculous," she grumbled, "So do you and so does everyone else."

"Well at least we aren't doing that," Cythera replied, gesturing across the room to where Amelia of Rimdell and Eleanor of Redford were practicing a 'demure giggle', "Ella still sounds like a cow in mating season."

Alanna snickered at the comment, yet shut up quickly when one of the sisters threw a heated glare in her direction.

"I think we should buy you a muzzle," she whispered, "at this rate you'll have run out of farm animals to compare everyone too by the end of the evening."

Cythera smiled sweetly, "I can always move onto exotic creatures my dear. Lord Marcus once told me of something called a Hyena, apparently its positively hideous."

"A what?"

Cythera was stopped from answering by a herald entering the room, a scroll held in his hands, presumably a list of their names and titles to announce to the entire ballroom.

Alanna felt her heart rate pick up, they could hear faint chatter from the room below them, presumably filled with people ready to watch and judge the new ladies at court. The man moved to the large double doors, calling a girl Alanna vaguely knew forward, before opening the doors and repeating it far louder. She went through and the heavy oak swung closed behind her.

Slowly the room emptied, until at last her name was called.

She moved to stand before the doors as they opened and the man shouted to the ballroom, "Lady Alanna of Trebond."

Alanna moved out feeling Cythera's hand leave her back as she stepped onto the gilded stairway. She kept her head straight, poised as she had been told.

_Gods this room is big, _she thought, _this would be a really bad time to fall._

Finally though she reached the end of the stairs, the atrocious slippers on her feet meeting with soft carpet as she approached the king and queen seated on the raised dais before her. She stopped on the correct step and sunk low into a curtsey, not an inch off to her quiet pride.

"Lady Alanna," the King said, his glance sliding to his right briefly before focussing on her once again. "Your brother is known to us. I hope you find your life here at the palace as agreeable as he has."

"I hope so highness," Alanna replied. She curtseyed once more and stepped away. It was only then that she noticed Jonathan, standing a few paces to the right of his father, and subsequently, Thom, four steps back and one across behind the prince's right shoulder a carefully schooled expression across his features.

Making her way towards the groups of stately looking nobles around the edges of the room she hunted for a familiar face until she spotted Raoul standing out like a sore thumb. She altered her step slightly and made a beeline for him as the next lady was announced soon finding herself standing in front of him and Gary who had blended in somewhat better than his giant of a friend.

"Good evening my lady," Gary said quietly, titles back into play in the formal environment.

She inclined her head, "Good evening Sir Gareth," and offered him a smile before turning around as Cythera was called. Her friend seemed to float down the staircase and came to rest with hardly a whisper of fabric before the monarchs. A few words were exchanged and Cythera was soon crossing the room, obviously spotting Alanna's fiery crown in the crowds.

They remained in respectful quiet as the last two ladies were announced, the music started up and people began to take to the floor.

"You never said your brother was squire to the prince!" It was Cythera, looking slightly flushed.

"I only found out myself today," Alanna replied, yet Cythera wasn't truly listening.

"Or that he was attractive."

Alanna blinked, taken aback, "What?"

She heard a stifled snort behind her and felt tempted to kick Gary in the shin, dainty shoes or not, _her twin was not attractive! _

"Thom is far from attractive," she said firmly, refusing to believe otherwise. He was her little brother, he wasn't _allowed_ to be attractive!

Cythera glanced at her, her gaze weighted, only_ because you're his sister, _she seemed to say.

It was Alanna's turn to flush, her gaze going back to Thom. She supposed his features had sharpened somewhat and he was in good shape, but attractive? She couldn't see it.

She turned a heated glare on Gary when he let out another laugh, and he stopped immediately looking slightly frightened.

"Gods," he muttered, "You really are twins."

"Yes _Sir Gareth,"_ she said, "But what exactly are you finding so amusing."

Raoul grinned, "Your brother gets a fair share of attention here at court, Lady Alanna, whether you like it or not."

"Yes," Gary sniffed, "Even if he is the single most awkward individual I have ever met when he's placed in a social situation. Jon wasn't lying when he said Thom hides in the curtains. If you can't see him at any point, I suggest kicking them, he generally yelps."

Alanna felt her scowl lift into a smile, _now that was something Thom had always been. Awkward. _

Cythera coughed slightly and Alanna started, "Sorry, Lady Cythera, this is Sir Raoul of Golden lake and you've meet Sir Gareth."  
>"A pleasure to meet you Sir Raoul and to meet you again Sir Gareth," Cythera said softly.<p>

They both offered her a bow and Alanna was surprised to see the pinkness back in her pale face.

They remained like that for a while, simple talk that flowed easily from the tongue passing between them until Gary asked Cythera to dance. She agreed with a blush and they vanished into the couples taking up the centre of the room.

Raoul suddenly looked uncomfortable, and Alanna quickly picked up on the problem.

"You don't have to ask me to dance Raoul," she said cheerfully, "In fact it's probably best that you don't. My sense of rhythm leaves much to be desired."

Raoul relaxed, giving her a grateful smile, "Thank the gods. I was just wondering how to tell you that I, as Gary so kindly puts it, dance like a blind bull in a room full of china."

"At least your friends tell you straight. Cythera tried to teach me for years, even after the dance master had given up on me."

He laughed and Alanna, pleased she had settled the large knight back into comfortable territory allowed her eyes to roam. The ball room was large but it wasn't too hard to find her twin. Surprisingly, Thom was nowhere near Jonathon but rather was wandering around the outskirts twisting around bodies with an easy grace, a silver tray bearing crystal tumblers filled with a scarlet liquid balanced in his hands. Looking around, she noticed others, also clad in the gold and blue of the squires formal uniform under taking similar tasks. It appeared the ball was classed too important for the pages to serve.

It was nearing midnight by the time Thom was given permission to hand his platter off too Douglass of Veldine. He'd managed to keep something of an eye on his sister throughout the evening and was glad to note she had spent most of it in the company of Raoul, Gary and another young woman whom he guessed was Lady Cythera.

He scanned the ballroom quickly and picked out Jonathan engaged in conversation with his father and some Lord or another. To a casual observer it appeared the young prince was paying avid attention, but to someone like Thom who had kept company with him for the past six years the boredom was clear in his expression.

He was trying to decide whether to appear near Jonathon to offer him a means of escape from the tedious going's on, or to cross the room to his sister when someone tapped him on the shoulder. It was Sacherell of Wellam. The slightly older squire nodded towards one of the side entrances before disappearing back into the crowd. A young page had opened the door a crack and was looking out nervously. Thom made his way over discreetly and slipped through. He recognised the young boy, he had only been at the palace a few months and spent a lot of time in the stables.

"Are you Thom?" At his nod, he continued, "Stefan asked me to tell you that you're needed at the stables."

The page then turned and hurried back down the corridor. Thom cursed under his breath. _Now of all times. _Moving back out into the brightly lit, loud room, he made a beeline for Jonathon who noticed his approach and apparently made his excuses for he followed when Thom continued past him into a slightly less crowded area.

"What is it?"

"Stefan's waiting for me in the stables."

Jon chuckled, "You mean _George _is waiting for you in the stables."

Thom shrugged, "Probably, but why, I don't know."

"Well then, I excuse you," he said, "You have permission to leave me here alone to die of boredom."

The young red head snorted, "Gary and Raoul are right over there. It's only a little bit of exercise _your highness_, I'm sure you can manage it."

Jon shook his head with a long suffering sigh, "Remind me again how I ended up with you for a squire?"

Thom grinned, already backing away towards one of the many exits, "I have no idea but _you're_ the one who asked."

It was quiet outside the ballroom, only the occasional servant or page roaming the halls as Thom made his way towards the stables. As always the sweet smell of hay filled the air before he even pushed the doors open. A few of the horse nickered in greeting and he scratched any inquisitive noses that poked out of their boxes before he reached the stall of his own horse, Aramar. The blue roan mare pushed her head into his chest affectionately as he let himself in and softly lipped at the underside of his chin. He rested his forehead a moment against hers, threading a hand in her dark mane as he basked in the calm assurance the gentle horse gave him.

"Busy night?"

The voice came from the shadows at the back of Aramar's stall where now that Thom looked he could make out a figure rising to their feet from the floor.

"You could say that."

Thom held out an apple in the palm of his hand and allowed the horse to take it from him before he folded his arms across his chest. The tall shadow stepped out into the light and pushed the hood of his cloak back to reveal the handsome face and laughing hazel eyes of one George Cooper.

"I'm glad she's doing so well," the older of the two said quietly, running his own hand over the strong back of the mare. George had bought her from a trader in a bad state and together with Thom he had managed to coax her back to health until one day when Thom had come down to take one of the palace horses out for the page's riding lesson she had been standing there, tacked up and waiting.

"Hmm," Thom hummed in agreement, scratching behind the dark ears, "As gentle as she can be lethal."

George nodded, "That she is."

They stood in silence for a moment, but it was comfortable, as it always was between the two of them.

"So," his hazel eyes looked perfectly innocent, "Anything of interest happen recently."

Thom threw him a look, "Come off it, you probably knew she was here before I did."

The charming grin was in full play, "I may have been aware, but come on, is she what you expected?"

The squire sighed and George frowned, "I've kept the letters passed between you both out of prying hands, the least you can do is tell me if slapping said hands was worth my trouble."

Thom turned to face him fully, "It's not that I don't want to tell you, I just don't quite know how. I've only had her company for a few hours, but she seems to still be the same Alanna that used to dunk me in the fishpond, if a little more tempered and wearing dresses rather than breeches."

George laughed, "I can't wait to meet her then."

Thom grinned back, "I might be able to persuade her to come down to the dove with me at some point. If only these blasted balls would stop."

The brown haired man smiled sympathetically, "Their highnesses haven't stopped the search for a wife for Jon then?"

Thom shook his head dejectedly.

"Well, I've something that might cheer you up."

Thom watched curiously as George drew something out from within the folds of his cloak. It was wrapped in fabric and he raised an eyebrow as he took it.

"What's this for?"

George smiled, "Your birthday, you idiot. You're sixteen in a few days in case you've forgotten."

Thom started slightly, he had indeed forgotten, even though he'd had his gift for Alanna hidden away in his room for months.

"I'm not sure when I'll be seeing you next, I'll be out of Corus for a little while, so I thought I'd better give it to you now."

Carefully unfolding the cloth Thom couldn't help the intake of breath once the contents were revealed. A delicate set of boot knives, complete with sheathes lay in his hands. Beautifully tempered and bound with black leather inlaid with silver braid, they were truly a sight to behold and the dark bird with outstretched wings stamped onto the pommels spoke measures in itself.

"I remember you mentioning your old ones weren't sharpening well so I thought I'd…"

Thom finally tuned back into his friends mumblings and cut across him, "I can't take these George!"

"Why not?" the rogue grinned cheekily, "I didn't steal them if that's what you want to know."

"I know you didn't! It's not that, it's just, it's because," Thom fumbled for the right words, "because, they're from the Raven Armoury! Buying something from there puts a dent in anyone's pocket!"

"Would you believe me if I said I saved for them because I wanted to get you something that might one day save your life."

Thom was taken aback by the sudden seriousness to his friends words.

"I," the hazel eyes held nothing but sincerity and warmth and he could only nod in reply.

"Then don't make a fuss about it." George said as though it were the simplest thing in the world, "If they mean that you'll come back from a battle unharmed then they're worth every penny I have."

"George…" he trailed off as the other man's eyebrow's lifted and finally stopped his protests with a smile, "Thankyou."

The rogue grin was fixed firmly back in place, "You're welcome lad."

An hour later, Thom slipped back into the ballroom. He'd spent a little longer with George before dropping his gift off in his room and working his way back through the palace. It was winding down slightly, many nobles having retired to their beds so it was no hard task to locate his twin and his friends.

"Where've you been?" Gary questioned him as he approached, "I kicked all the curtains and you didn't make a sound."

"That's because I wasn't in the curtains for once."

Gary opened his mouth again but closed it when Jon gave him a firm tap on the ankle. He was aware that Thom didn't want his sister to panic at the company he kept.

Alanna eyed her brother curiously but decided not to ask and introduced Cythera instead.

"Alanna mentions you frequently in her letters, "Thom smiled, "You have my thanks for keeping her somewhat sane in the convent."

Cythera laughed, "It was no hardship. In fact I rather enjoyed it."

It was Jonathan that noticed the ballroom rapidly emptying around them, and they decided to part ways for the night.

"Well she's definitely something."

It was the first time Jonathon had spoken since they returned from the ball. The Prince had been stood there a while, lounged casually in the doorway that connected his and Thom's rooms.

"But since she's related to you, I didn't really expect anything less."

The younger of the two paused in the middle of throwing a tunic into his washing basket, his purple eyes narrowing.

"That's a bit of a back handed compliment."

"At least it wasn't an insult," Jon mused, "She wasn't quite what I was expecting I'll admit."

Thom turned to face him, "Oh? Just what were you expecting?"

"I don't know, a female version of you I suppose."

That startled a laugh from Thom, "We may look somewhat alike Jon, but we are far from identical."

The prince waved a hand, "I know that, I doubt you'd find her down at the practice courts swinging a sword twice her size at two in the morning. I was just thinking she'd be a bit more… fiery."

"Fiery?" Thom queried, tossing another shirt to join the rapidly growing pile.

"Fierce. I mean she's definitely not your average lady," Jon continued, "She's just different in a different way to what I thought."

Thom smiled at his friend, "She's still a lady Jon, and as much as she hates it, she's been raised in the convent for almost six years. Her steel has been slightly tempered, but as you get to know her more," he smirked, "you might just realise there's more fire there than you know what to do with."

Jon was saved from replying by a knock on Thom's door. The red head strode across the room and swung it open to reveal Alanna, back in the dress she'd worn that afternoon.

Alanna had barely knocked when the door was thrown open beneath her hand. She was met with the gleaming purple eyes of her twin. Relieved she had gotten the right room she stepped inside his quarters, only vaguely surprised to see the Prince also present.

Seeing her look, Jon smiled, "Don't worry, I was just leaving."

With a respectful nod of his head, Jon backed into the rooms joined to Thom's and closed the door.

Alanna moved across to Thom's bed and threw herself down upon it, ignoring her brother's snort at her behaviour. She cast her eyes about his room curiously. It was smaller than the ones she had been given with simple wooden furniture and a shuttered window looking out into the grounds. What did surprise her however was the bookshelf in the corner, the top two shelves full of an assortment of items that looked completely random to Alanna's eyes, but she knew her brother and had no doubt that each of the odd things held a special meaning to him. The bottom shelves were crammed with books, almost overflowing. Thom was a reluctant reader at best and Alanna left her spot on the bed and crossed over to it, seating herself cross legged in front of it. Some of them were books given to the pages for their lessons, books on etiquette and the occasional poetry compilation. The majority however made her chuckle quietly, books on weaponry and advanced techniques. She pulled one off, _Speed in Swordplay, _and flicked to the first page. There was a message scrawled in ink, _Thom, I caught you looking at this, you aren't as subtle as you think. Happy Midwinter. G. _

G? Gary? She shook her head and replaced it, however as she did so another fell out, identical to four or five others beside it. It had no title printed on its plain black leather cover and when she opened it she gasped. It was a sketchbook. Every page was filled with intricate drawings, a unknown noble kissing a ladies hand, half her face hidden behind a fan, a younger Raoul and Gary sprawled beneath a tree laughing, a small curly haired boy with the word _Francis_ written below it, and most surprisingly a cat, twined around Jon's shoulders.

"Thom?" She questioned. He looked up from where he was seated on a cushioned chair. When he saw what she held, he flushed.

"Put it back."

She grinned but did as he asked, "They're beautiful Thom."

She rose to her feet, silently cursing the dress that made it so much harder and then froze. Her eyes had met purple. But Thom wasn't looking at her. It took her a moment to realise that the eyes were set in a dark furry face attached to a sleek silky body that was seated on top of the bookshelf.

"Alanna?" She must have been quiet for longer than she thought, because Thom had risen and was coming over to her.

When he saw the stare down occurring, he couldn't help but laugh.

"I was wondering where you'd got too. Alanna, meet Faithful, Faithful, meet Alanna."

A few hours later with sunlight creeping across Thom's floor, Alanna sat opposite her twin on the bed, the cat, Faithful, curled in her lap. Her head was reeling with all she'd learnt about her twin and his time here. He had left a lot out in his letters it seemed.

"So you defeated the Ysandir in the Bazhir desert. The people started calling you the brightly shining one and you accepted Jon's offer to be his squire. You learnt to fight by training with the monstrosity Coram carries with him, you learnt to fight _dirty _with the help of a thief in the city who happens to be the King of the _Rogue_, who wants to meet me at some point," Alanna recited dutifully, afraid she'd missed something of what Thom had told her.

Her twin nodded with a rueful grin, "His name's George, he's also how our letters have managed to remain unseen. That's where I was earlier, he came to the stables. I didn't want to tell you there because I wasn't sure how you'd react."

Alanna held up a hand, "You came across Faithful, who was sent to you from the Goddess _herself _while you were out riding in the woods. You also soundly thrashed a page twice your size after Duke Gareth told you to hit him where it hurt."

"He _was _a bully Lanna."

"Shut up. Have I missed anything?"

Thom grinned cheekily, "Not much."

"What about this 'Smiling Friend' you've mentioned? Who is he?"

The grin fell away. "Duke Roger of Conte."

"The Kings nephew?"

Thom scowled, "And Jon's cousin, who he happens to be quite close too. That small fact makes it impossible to say anything against the man."

"Just what exactly is there against him? You only mentioned that he made you uncomfortable."

"I don't know exactly, that's why I told you about him," Thom frowned, "There's just something wrong, it's just a feeling but he's slippery, cunning. I don't have the gift so I can't be sure, but Faithful felt something in his gift that was present in the Sweating Sickness that nearly killed Jon."

Alanna ran a hand across the cats head, feeling more than hearing the rumble of his purr. "I can try my gift on him," she offered, "But if he's as powerful as you say, then he'll know what I'm doing."

"I know, that's why I won't ask it of you. I don't want him watching you like he's watching me."

They sat in silence for a moment, until something clicked in Alanna's mind. "Hang on. You _don't _have the gift!"

Thom rolled his eyes, "I'm aware of that. I thought you were too, you know being my twin and all."

She reached over and boxed his ears softly, "I know you dolt! But how did you save Jonathan from the sickness? We heard about it at the convent, a page bringing the prince back. I didn't know it was you at the time but it was wasn't it?"

He nodded sheepishly, "It was. But it wasn't only me. It was mostly Faithful. They were all around him like he was already dead," he shuddered, "they even had the priests there. Myles helped me get them out and I tried what Maude drilled into us when we were younger about fevers. You know, try and sweat it out. It didn't do much and he just sort of slipped away but then Faithful did something. I don't even know how to explain it. I don't have the gift but he's got _something_. It was like he threw me after him. Myles said I just collapsed, but Faithful wouldn't let him anywhere near me or Jon. I was in what seemed like a well and Jon stood at the bottom with the Black God. He said it wasn't time for either of us to die and allowed Faithful to bring us both back."

Alanna was silent before she reached forward and pulled Thom into a hug, upsetting the cat in her lap. He chuckled, "It sounds ridiculous I know, but it's the only way I know how to explain it."

"I'm so proud of you Thom."

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